Mak Ndak No More

Assalamualaikum,

I dont have any Mak Ndak anymore. My Mak Ndak has gone forever.

April 8 2012, a date to be remembered by my family, especially family from my mom side. We have lost somebody. Somebody which close to us. Mak Ndak, used to be the name we addressed her.

Around 11.30p.m., in a room in Selayang Hospital, mak ndak breathed for the last time. At her side, there were her children, her in laws, the nurses, her siblings but not my mom. My mom was away in Mecca. performed umrah ziarah.

As u used to know from the previous entry, she suffered liver disease. Her liver was shrinking. and it was also affecting her kidneys. her body became a toxic tank. and she suffered. suffered. and suffered.

I know, my mom is so sad. crying and not stop in Mecca. because Mak Ndak and mom and Mak Tam are like best friend among their sibling.

Since i was a little boy, we the three family traveled together. we convoyed to Cameron Highland, to Mersing and Tioman, to Johor Bahru, to Melaka, to Rompin, to Pontian, to Janda Baik and etc. mostly we will travel together when holiday.

but that days come no more. because she is gone. she left her kids alone without parents.

I cried and drop my tears seeing her laid at front of mosque. i kissed her for the last time. i kissed her cheeks and forehead. i want to say something to her ears, but i was too agony. i can barely say anything, like there is something stuck at my voice box. i want to say, 'Mak and I always love you Mak Ndak. and even she is not here, she loves you really much.'.

Funeral was held at Lanchang, Pahang. She was buried before Zuhur yesterday, down below her late husband grave.

I hope you are resting in peace. i will always recite Al-Fatihah for you.

Al Fatihah.

Gadisku Dalam Koma

Assalamualaikum,

My mom, the left one, with her siblings. she is the right one.

the girl mentioned above is my auntie. She has been in coma since last Tuesday till now, admitted in Selayang's hospital. I visited her today, for the first time when she still on hospital's bed, unconscious.

Since i was a baby, she has been a lovely auntie of mine. She sometimes took care of me and other siblings. She is a great chef. she has a restaurant. restaurant she open since before i born to this world.

And today, she, the 52 years old woman, is laying on her bed, do nothing but breathing through oxygen mask. her body turns yellow as her liver shrink.

She was a healthy person but everything was changed about 6 months ago. She is suspected to be a victim of dark magic. A person who is very jealous of her business, did something which cause her liver to be dysfunction. Her liver is now shrinking and the bacteria from the liver spread to her kidneys.

Meanwhile, my mother, auntie's elder sister which is also like very close to my mom, is also sick in Jeddah. Her blood has been infected. This what was turned me agony today. she has a week more in Arab Saudi and i am worried.

Hopefully, everything is going to be fine. I wish my mom would make it to see her sister.

Al-Fatihah. May she be concious again and my mom will come back again in Malaysia safely.

Agony

I am in pain.

Not all people we love will stick by our side.

Somehow, you have to let go of them because there is Someone who loves them more than i do.

Thank you for the chance you give to us to love them.

He is getting older

Assalamualaikum,

do you see what i see? yeah, i am updating my blog more and more recently.

This one of second post i made today is a post i made to tribute my father, Musa Hassan, the former Malaysia chief police, for his 51st Birthday tomorrow, Match 28th. The chief police part is a joke. Please laugh. :D

He has been a good father even thought sometime we had problems between us. We had a fight, we had a difficult time, but that was past. Now i know, how hard my father have to raise us up. working all day long, looking for money to feed us.

I love you all single day. Thank you for raising me up. thank you for sacrificing your time to be with me. thank you for scholar my education all this time. thank you for accepting me as you son. and thank you for never leaving me raising alone, like some other parents do.

I work hard on my studies today not only for my success, but it for you to see how much i appreciate you and all your effort to put me at this level. Thank you again.

May Allah, the Almighty, the Merciful, the Forgiver, open your heart and spread his bless into your heart and soul. May Him make you stay strong and applicable to do what ever he told us to do. May Him put you in places of people He loves.

And also to arwahyarham Abang Lan, the one i  managed to meet and friend with only for 3 years, rest in peace. May Allah bless your soul. Tomorrow also suppose to be his birthday.

Surat Untuk Arlina Arshad

Assalamualaikum,

this post is specially made for a friend i met in twitter. we become closer in twitter because we share our problems, we share our love story, we share our jokes, but foremost we share the same dream, going to Australia. but she already arrived in Australia, leaving me 1 year behind in Malaysia.

But that is not the sad part of this story. This one big girl which i assume to be beautiful and cute, is so talented. she knows how to write, sing, thinking, and what so cool about her is she is so funny and attractive and have a good persona.

For any guys attention, she is not mine. Go and choose her as your life's partner, she is so cool. haha.

Arlina, i know its a bit tiring there in Australia strive for success but it is worth it. because it only last for 5 years more. you have to pick me up at Sydney Airport next year and i will grant all the promises i made with you once i be there in Australia.

Lose your weight as you wanted so. Wish you to succeed in your weight loss mission.

faithfully,

Rafieque Musa
the one you wanted so much. haha

p.s. orang penang jangan jelous. haha

Penang sungguh Gentleman

Assalamualaikum,

I feel a little bit tired today, it is because of my awesome trip to Penang last weekend. Briefly, a friend of mine, his brother was getting married last weekend. As a friend to who loves his friends, we accepted his invitation to his brother wedding ceremony last Saturday at Setia Pearl Island. There were 17 of us. 5 were taking flight including me and else were driving from Seremban to Penang with 2 cars. We stayed in his second house for 2 nights. While we spent our days in Penang, we did visited lots of places. Bukit Bendera, Batu Feringgi, Georgetown, Padang Kota, Gurney, and some popular places.

We ate a lot, we hanged out together a lot, but we slept less. haha. Every morning we woke by nyet who was excited every morning to start the journeys. We did sight seeing, swimming, build a tower in the sea, car's engine died 3 times on hill road, and almost miss out flight because of late arrive to airport. the moment i will never forget is we run in the airport because 3 minutes the flight we are about to fly with, will depart. but, once there, it was delayed. lol. overall, this was the coolest trip i have ever been with friends.

But, the sad part was that, i didn't managed to meet a person i have not seen for a while. The girl who live in Recsum. So sorry for your subway didn't managed to get to you at time it arrived. :D

co incidentally, we were wearing the same color of shirts and shoe and slipper. looks like we were a gay couple. damn. haha

New Challenge

Assalamualaikum,

here we go again, since i successfully completed with my self-challenge before, one month without Facebook (i didn't seek for attention), so i have decided again to proceed with the 2nd phase of my social networking self-challenge.

I have decided starting from this Friday, March 23rd 2012, i will challenge myself again from opening my Facebook's account with some addition this time, and i will not tweets anything nor log in through it. lol.

Some people might think i am a loser who seek for attention, but that is not what i meant to do. It is only part of me to see how am i handle myself in keeping my promises. will i keep it till the end or only keep it halfway.

Another reason is because i am trying to appreciate the uses of networking. i found out, almost 80% of time i spend with internet is for social networking, and not for source of informational. between, i will have my final exam just around the corner. This is really a big exam, which decides me whether am i going to Australia or not next year.

This challenge will expire on April 23rd which only takes about 1 month again.

The bind for this challenge will be, i will give RM500 to the first person who get me notice about her/him down here in comment section. but if no one appeared to be one, so i will just give to my college's library. Thank you

Brother till the end

Assalamualaikum,

Muhammad Afif Bin Zulkifli, Itulah nama diberi pada kawan baik aku. We have known for almost 6 years. yes I Love Him. We hanged out together, every time and everywhere.

But yesterday, we start to separate by continent we are living on. He moved to Munich, German, pursuing his undergraduate studies and will be back to Malaysia in 2017. and I, determine with my choice, will move to Sydney, Australia, InsyaAllah, in about 1 year for the same mission.

He has been a great and a cool friend of mine since we were in form 3. we were sitting together in the same row in class. i carried him at my back when we had this cross country running because he suffocated and cannot breath smoothly. we finished our art project back then in his room, while it was raining outside. we were crying together when we were leaving the school. Yes i know, we both are sensitive type people. and we don't care about it.

I care about him and i am jealous with him. lol.

To Afif,

I wish the best of you. may you success with everything you choose and may Allah lead you the path where the people He loves will be and always taking you care when you. I love you best friend.

Till we meet again in German. eheh. because we will never meet again in Malaysia since Australia's summer period is not the same as German's summer period.

20 is the turning point

Assalamualaikum,

berakhirnya 1 mac 3 jam yang lepas menandakan genap 20 tahun 1 hari nikmat kurniaan yang diberi, tidak mampu ditandingi segala pahala yang mampu dikumpul seluruh alam, untuk dibawa masuk ke syurga. Alhamdulillah syukur sangat. kalau tahun-tahun sebelum ni, ini bukanla satu kebiasaan yang akan aku selalu fikirkan tetapi entah macam mana, dari  mana, bicara apa, yang mana telah masuk ke dalam kotak fikiran aku membuat aku terfikir, besarnya nikmat Allah yang satu ini.

Mungkin angka 1 yang dibundarkan menjadi 2 membuatkan fikiran-fikiran aku juga dibundarkan dengan kematangan. melihat kehidupan lebih pada sudut keagamaan, iaitu bagaimana aku menhargai setiap saat perjalanan kehidupan yang entah bila akan tiba pada garisan penamatnya.

Sejujur hatinya, tahun ini bukan tahun yang mana aku mahu melihat makhluk disekeliling aku mengingati ulang tahun kelahiranku ini. i tried to hide everything about me in any social sites i registered. tapi manusia itu hebat, mampu mengingati tarikh yang bukan penting pada mereka tapi pada sahabat mereka.

Bukan ini cara untuk menjadi seorang yang loner, cuma kematangan pada angka umurku itu membuatkan aku terfikir pada ibu bapa, keluarga dan sahabat-sahabatku sejenak. apa yang telah aku lakukan untuk mereka sepanjang nikmat ini masih bersama aku?

Semampu mana aku sebagai seorang anak kepada kedua ibubapanya, seorang adik kepada abang-abang dan kakak-kakaknya, seorang abang kepada adik-adiknya, seorang sahabat kepada sahabat-sahabtnya, untuk sama-sama membawa diri dan mereka menjadi seorang yang mampu membawa kasih dunia ini terus ke alam yang hakiki kelak, InsyaAllah, yang dibawa ke syurga.

Aku bukan insan terpilih itu. yang lahir di dunia, ayahnya imam dan ibunya ustazah. yang lahirnya, didikan agama itu pasti untuknya. yang mampu untuk membawa mereka ke syurga kerana amalanku. dan akula pelaku dosa itu dan ini. aku la hamba yang sentiasa riak itu dan ini. cukuplah mengetahui yang basic-basic, cukup sekadar untuk memenuhi tuntutan yang wajib itu. tapi kami cuba dan masih mencuba. belajar, mendengar dan membaca untuk sentiasa menjadi muslim yang luar biasa itu.

agar muslim yang luar biasa itu mampu membawa muslim yang biasa menjadi luar biasa. InsyaAllah


This is my favorite birthday's wish, from my sister, Izzatie Musa

"Salam kebahagiaan buat seorang abang. Semoga sentiasa dalam pelukan Rahman dan Rahim-Nya.

Happy Birthday bro. 20thn sudah. 

Semoga menjadi anak yang soleh, abang yang terbaik, pelajar yang cemerlang, imam buat keluarga 

dan yang paling penting, hamba yang penuh takwanya. 

Ingatlah, semakin panjang umur kita semakin dekat kita dengan kematian, maka, kutiplah amal sebanyaknya. Have a nice day. 

Jazakaillahukhaira"

P.S. i had a nice day today. thanks to people who sang me birthday song in LT1 and anas, in class. and thanks to people who wished me.

P.S.S Happy Birthday Khalil Mokti and belated birthday to Nik Aiman and Istiadatul Hasanah (my primary school's friend) who are only celebrate their birthday once in a fourth year.

A Gift of Life

Assalamualaikum,

Hey, recently i read something in a local newspaper. i found an article which caught my attention at first sight, A Gift of Life.

If you are a subscriber of The Stars Newspaper, then you might passed through a page with an article of the title mentioned earlier.

Briefly, The article actually talked about organs' donation., a gift of life from God The Almighty, Allah. but not every person is lucky enough to have a complete gift. They are tested, tested to feel the misery and pain to endure. and us, in some ways also being tested by The Almighty. are we grateful or not with the gift given? and how we, the "normal", can help them.

The answer is we can donate our good organs and tissues for the process they call as transplant.

i am actually have thought about this long time before, since i was in lower secondary school. i choose to donate my organs for good. to help people.

but they are rumors. rumors where people spread, their spirit might not rest in peace, might be in pain, might be in harm, because of the body is being hurt when the process of removing the organs and tissues are undergoing.

i am not so sure about that.

but what im so sure is this;

Diriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu 'an  bahawasanya  Rasulullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam bersabda:

“Apabila seseorang manusia itu meninggal dunia maka terputuslah segala amalannya melainkan daripada tiga perkara iaitu sedekah jariah, ilmu pengetahuan yang dapat diambil manfaat daripadanya dan anak soleh yang mendoakan untuknya”.  (Hadith riwayat Imam Muslim)

what i believed, once you donate, deeds will always flow into your account. even if you feel the pain and misery, but you got your rewards. May Him put us in group of people He blessed.

and i have decided i will donate mine and register myself, not today but someday. I promise you!!